I had a dream last night that my friend Soul died and I like woke up crying and scared as crap. I have dreams like this every couple of months and they always freaking terrify me because I’ve already had so many friends die & it scares me so much because its honestly the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
this is the first time in a while i haven’t had any feeling for anyone. so its fun listening to as many sad songs as i want and not getting sad over anyone.
so philip has hated me for no apparent reason for the past like 2 months and i was freakin sad for a while about it but now i just kinda hate him too. which isn’t great, so i’m trying to not hate him but still be ok with him hating me.